He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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