can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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