I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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