Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
