i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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