im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
