And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
