Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
