Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
