sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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