I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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