I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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