i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
