I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
