Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
