are you so shy because you have an std?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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