I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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