Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
