I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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