Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What drink are we having for lunch?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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