I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
