I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
