I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize