What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
