oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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