i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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