I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
