So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just cut my nipple shaving
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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