im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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