i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
babies were throwing up all over the place
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
