Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We talked him into tasing himself.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
