so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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