i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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