i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
