What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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