How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
