I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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