I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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