Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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