How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
