i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
