I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
