I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
