If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
soo... how was my night?
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