And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
