Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
