I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
