great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
