sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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