I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm like, not good at living.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
