i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
