he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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