I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
