do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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