the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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