omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
