my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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