Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
