This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize