I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
how drunk are you?
Several
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
