I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
