at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
